Most of the time I only talk about products that I have the warm and fuzzies for. There are loads of amazing high end bits that I now can’t picture being without. However, there are most definitely some duds lurking in the shelves at Sephora. They’re there, just waiting for you to pick them up and take them home, thinking you’ll be happy together. But you won’t. You’ll never be happy together because they’re liars. They’re the type of products that sit on the couch all day watching soap operas and ordering you to make them more nachos. They don’t care about you at all. Well, I think it’s time talk about these products and reveal their true colours. So please, join me in a good old fashioned bitch fest. Was that over the top? It got weird with the nachos didn’t it?

Estee Edit Skin Glowing Balm
Wow. Wow wow wow. I think this has to be the worst base I’ve ever come across. At first glance it seems like it would be beautiful. It’s sheer and glowy (check and check in my books), however this shit does not blend. I mean it really won’t blend. It’s like trying to mash a rock around your face. It takes so long to work the streaks out that by the time you do it’s sitting awkwardly in your pores and looking patchy. It also smells like burning plastic. It’s not just me. Everyone else said that about the smell too. Estee Edit has been one absolutely massive flop both in terms of quality and popularity.

Marc Jacobs Remarcable Foundation
I can see how you might like this foundation if you had normal skin, however if you have oily or dry skin it probably won’t work for you. The coverage is phenomenal, so it’s very exciting when you first apply it, but within a couple of hours it separates horribly on my oily skin. I’ve never seen a foundation form such distinct dots on my face. The formula also has a tendency to cling to try patches.

Smashbox Photo Finish Primer
This is actually kind of an iconic product, which I think is so weird. I find primers that are this silicone based and slippy serve no purpose. They don’t extend the wear of your foundation. If anything they reduce it. They don’t fill in your pores and they most definitely don’t hydrate you skin. They just seem to make your foundation slide around on top. I also have to rag on their colour correcting primers, because they do dink all to colour correct. Make Up For Ever and BareMinerals both make better colour correcting primers.

BareMinerals Loose Powders
This is a general bitching. I find almost all loose powders from BareMinerals – Mineral Veil, Blushes, Bronzers, etc – have the chunkiest sparkles in them. Who would want that I ask you BareMinerals?! On the other hand, their pressed powders don’t seem the have that issue at all.

Anastasia Cream Contour Kit
*Braces self for flying fruit and vegetables.* Okay, I don’t hate this product, but I just don’t think it’s good. The cream is so stiff and challenging to blend out. It’s not user friendly. If you want to try cream contouring I think the Smashbox Contour Sticks are a hundred times better.

Cover FX Contour Kit
This is a funny one because I both love and hate this product. For contouring I think this is the most ridiculous and unrealistic kit. You could never use such warm shades to contour with. However, if you treat this kit like a cream highlight and bronzer kit then you’re golden. It’s beautiful.

YSL Eye Shadow Palettes
It’s funny that these are so pricey because they are far and away the crappiest eye shadow palettes I’ve tried from Sephora. They have next to no pigment. I couldn’t tell you how they blend, because I couldn’t even see enough colour pay off to blend. Shamefully, I’m still going to keep mine just so I can stare at the pretty packaging.

NARS Audacious Mascara
I’ll start with the positive about this mascara. It didn’t smudge on me. Yay. However, due to the shape of the brush it did almost nothing to my lashes. That’s pretty well what I’ve heard from everyone else too. It doesn’t add any volume or length to the lashes.

Benefit Push Up Liner
This was a good attempt at innovation, however, it just doesn’t seem to work quite right. The problem with this liner is that it’s more trouble than it’s worth. The product in the tip always gets dried out and crumbles and you really have to work with it quite a bit to get it to the point that it’s gliding smoothly over the lids.

Benefit Brow Zing
There’s a simple problem with this brow powder. It’s orange. So orange. It looks like Benefit is addressing that somewhat with their updated version, but we’ll see.

Make Up For Ever Lashes
I don’t understand why these lashes are over $20. I think the $5 Ardell ones look better. If I were going to pay that price for lashes I would buy some Velour ones.

Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder
While I like the texture of this powder, I don’t like the shimmer that runs through it. To me a brightening powder shouldn’t have actual chunks of sparkle in it. It looks too obvious. I find the Cover FX Illuminating Powder to be much better quality and you get a lot more bang for you buck.

Bobbi Brown Skin Foundation & BB Cream
I know a lot of people who do like these products, and maybe I’m doing something wrong, but to me they don’t sit well on the skin. They seem to cling to every little bit of dry skin and look visibly like foundation. I think if you had buttery smooth skin these would be fine, but for problem skin it’s a no go.